Corollary to real funny events from my life - V
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
real funny events from my life - III
Continuing with the series, this is a real classic one. Whenever I recall this one, I get the vivid photographic flashes of the event, and I cannot hold back my smile. After reading this one, one would realise it has all the elements of an entertainer, thrill, suspense, drama and of course fun and stupidity, the last 2 elements, are like forever adages to the experiences of my life. So here is one more in the series:
This must have been September/October of 2005, when it was the first few months of my marriage and work both. Well it was also the very first time of Kingfisher Red's, which was erstwhile Air Deccan's first year of crazy promotions. It might sound unbelievable now, but back in those days, they were selling Mumbai-Vadodara for a mere 599 INR. So, I made optimum use of the bulk buying and I practically booked every second weekend. So this was one such weekend incident. I think my flight was the early morning 6 am flight. And as a tired fresher, I was scared that I might end up missing my flight, since waking up at 4 am to catch the 6 am flight sounded like a mission impossible attempt. So, I asked my flat mates, I do not even remember who all were there, but I definitely recall Payal and Ritu to plan a night out. The strategy was to stay awake as much as I can along with my friends, and then head straight to the airport, which was like just few km away from my flat. So we girls were all in the party mode, and happily dressed and made up, headed to Cafe Mocha at Powai. We enjoyed our evening heartily with all the girly giggling and sumptuous meal. I think we definitely must have had some cheese fondue, which is my favourite there. From Mocha, we headed back home, it must have been close to midnight by then. So, technically half of my mission was over. I just needed to be awake for 4 more hours, and then had to leave for the airport. Well, I could have gone to the airport at 12 also, in case if anyone thinks that could be a smart idea to stay awake. But then, the people who are close to me and also the Jet airways staff knows that I sleep like a log even at the waiting bay of airports even after the security check.*
So, after reaching my place, I asked Payal to chat with me for some time, as she was the only one who was a late night sleeper. We must have chatted for another hour, after which she started feeling sleepy, (we had some alcohol too at Mocha). So after the chit-chatty session of killing time, I started cleaning my closet, which badly needed an order, considering the chaos and abuse it was subjected to each day. That again consumed 1 hour, so it was around 2:30 am, still 3 and half hours to my flight's departure, and my eye lashes were drooping, which were getting hard to open. While writing this blog I just pondered upon the fact that when ever one is supposed to wait, each minute and second seems like hell. In an attempt to kill more half an hour, I just did some time pass with my hair, tried curling them with the temporary fem curlers. Then at 3 am, I was out of all patience, I picked up my bag, and headed towards the airport, since I made up my mind to wait at the airport only.
Our flat was on the second floor, which had 6 flats, 4 were occupied were our landlord, and in one of the flats lived a strange looking christian woman, about whom there were many dangerous gossips. I did not know much, except for the one that she practised WITCHCRAFT.
I am always considered a bold and dauntless person who is scared of nothing, even I thought the same about myself, until that moment. hahhaa. So, I was dragging my bag on the staircase, and in the pitch dark I suddenly heard some strange sounds, the ones you can recall from the Zee Horror Show days. They were some horrific cries and shrills. I immediately looked back, and found nothing. I got shrills running all over my body, I instantly thought of going back to my PG and waking up Payal. I was just about to do that, and suddenly it struck me that I could not enter my flat, cause I had given the keys to Payal only; and ringing up the door bell would have been a futile option, considering the heavy and careless sleepers all the flat mates were. The fear inside me reached its threshold, when again I heard those screams and shrieks. I had no dare to look anywhere or even open my eyes, but just out of curiosity I did. In my mind I could only imagine that Wicca. But to my amazement, I saw a pack of kittens jumping and playing with joy, since their mommy cat had caught a big fat bandicoot in her mouth. So, as you must have guessed by now, those sounds were of the struggle between the prey and its killer; and then of the little kittens' joyous cries of party time!!!
I laughed seeing this, and went back with my mission of catching the flight on time. The particular incident was so live and vivid in my memory that I was all fresh and active for the entire day, journey and the almost 3 hours of wait preceding it all.
I still cannot help giggling thinking of that incidnet.
* This funny event some other time in some other blog
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Marital Relations - IV
A young girl was bitten by the fashion fad of hair straightening.
Being a student, she did not have enough allowances with her to get her hair properly straightened at a hair salon.
She then approached her boyfriend to fund the same for her. Poor boyfriend had no other option but to succumb to his girl friend’s whims and fancies.
He started saving from his part-time job to gather enough cash to gift to his girl friend.
After some time the girl got the required amount of funds from her boy friend. She duly used the funds to get the perfect straightened hair that she was wanting since a long time.
Naturally, she was very happy after the entire experience, and went straight to her boy friend to show him her perfect mane.
She kept twisting and turning flaunting her sleek hair, the way probably a child would do with a new toy he would have been gifted on his third birthday.
Few minutes must have passed in flattery, when she suddenly realized that her boy friend had not been truly appreciative of her efforts in looking better, except for uttering “nice, nice” just a few times.
At once she started accusing him of being not committal and unappreciative towards her.
The moment her tears started rolling, the boy friend got nervous and ended up saying something in a complete fumble.
Boy Friend: “Oh dear, you look so lovely. Your hair is as flat as my pockets right now Oh, rather as flat as your chest. !!”
Obviously, they both never met after the conversation.
Being a student, she did not have enough allowances with her to get her hair properly straightened at a hair salon.
She then approached her boyfriend to fund the same for her. Poor boyfriend had no other option but to succumb to his girl friend’s whims and fancies.
He started saving from his part-time job to gather enough cash to gift to his girl friend.
After some time the girl got the required amount of funds from her boy friend. She duly used the funds to get the perfect straightened hair that she was wanting since a long time.
Naturally, she was very happy after the entire experience, and went straight to her boy friend to show him her perfect mane.
She kept twisting and turning flaunting her sleek hair, the way probably a child would do with a new toy he would have been gifted on his third birthday.
Few minutes must have passed in flattery, when she suddenly realized that her boy friend had not been truly appreciative of her efforts in looking better, except for uttering “nice, nice” just a few times.
At once she started accusing him of being not committal and unappreciative towards her.
The moment her tears started rolling, the boy friend got nervous and ended up saying something in a complete fumble.
Boy Friend: “Oh dear, you look so lovely. Your hair is as flat as my pockets right now Oh, rather as flat as your chest. !!”
Obviously, they both never met after the conversation.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Marital Relations - III
Once a
newly married bride was novice at cooking as well.
Everyday she would prepare a meal for the dinner.
That was the only meal they both used to have together. It was their work life that made the dinner to be the only meal they used to have at home.
Each night before sleeping, wife would ask the husband about the meal.
Wife: “How was the dinner tonight?”
Husband: “Very well, just like you my love?”
This happened for sometime, and then one fine day some friends called on the couple for drinks.
The lady decided to cook some dinner for the guests. The husband suggested many a times to his wife, of ordering food from a restaurant in order to save her time and energy.
Nevertheless, the lady cooked the food for the guests, and thanked her husband for being so thoughtful of her.
After the drinks, everyone looked forward to the meal.
Somehow the guests did not like the food that was served. Although they were courteous to not let the hosts know about it. They simply tasted everything, and filled their tummies with the snacks and bites that were not home-made.
Being witness to all this, the lady was very sad. She was under-going frustration, but she kept herself calm till the guests left.
After they left, the lady started crying out of frustration and understood the whole thing.
She understood that she was never good at cooking, and her husband always lied to her all this while.
The husband tried pacifying her, but she kept crying and shouting.
She confronted him and asked him what made him lie to her for so long.
The man not knowing how to react simply answered: “I always thought of sleeping with a peaceful mind, if not the tummy”
newly married bride was novice at cooking as well.
Everyday she would prepare a meal for the dinner.
That was the only meal they both used to have together. It was their work life that made the dinner to be the only meal they used to have at home.
Each night before sleeping, wife would ask the husband about the meal.
Wife: “How was the dinner tonight?”
Husband: “Very well, just like you my love?”
This happened for sometime, and then one fine day some friends called on the couple for drinks.
The lady decided to cook some dinner for the guests. The husband suggested many a times to his wife, of ordering food from a restaurant in order to save her time and energy.
Nevertheless, the lady cooked the food for the guests, and thanked her husband for being so thoughtful of her.
After the drinks, everyone looked forward to the meal.
Somehow the guests did not like the food that was served. Although they were courteous to not let the hosts know about it. They simply tasted everything, and filled their tummies with the snacks and bites that were not home-made.
Being witness to all this, the lady was very sad. She was under-going frustration, but she kept herself calm till the guests left.
After they left, the lady started crying out of frustration and understood the whole thing.
She understood that she was never good at cooking, and her husband always lied to her all this while.
The husband tried pacifying her, but she kept crying and shouting.
She confronted him and asked him what made him lie to her for so long.
The man not knowing how to react simply answered: “I always thought of sleeping with a peaceful mind, if not the tummy”
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Marital Relations - II
Every time after visiting his mother’s grave, husband used to shed a tear.
The entire drive back home used to be in silence, along with the company of his wife.
Years and years passed, but the wife did not find any change in her husband’s love for his beloved mother.
Each visit to the mother’s grave would bring tears to the man.
Moved by her husband’s devotion and love for his dead mother, she happened to ask him once.
Wife: “Darling, will you love me with the same intensity, as you do to your mother”
Husband replied: “Yes, love I would, why would I not”
Wife: “Promise??”
Husband: “Yes, that’s a promise!!”
Wife: “Will you even shed tears if I happen to die someday??”
Husband: “Of course, but I cannot promise if the tears would be of the same nature!!”
The entire drive back home used to be in silence, along with the company of his wife.
Years and years passed, but the wife did not find any change in her husband’s love for his beloved mother.
Each visit to the mother’s grave would bring tears to the man.
Moved by her husband’s devotion and love for his dead mother, she happened to ask him once.
Wife: “Darling, will you love me with the same intensity, as you do to your mother”
Husband replied: “Yes, love I would, why would I not”
Wife: “Promise??”
Husband: “Yes, that’s a promise!!”
Wife: “Will you even shed tears if I happen to die someday??”
Husband: “Of course, but I cannot promise if the tears would be of the same nature!!”
Monday, November 2, 2009
A SMOKING SARDARJI
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| sardarji-smoking |
Tried searching on the internet, but still cannot find one, a smoking sardarji that I found today. Though I know he would have never said anything. Wonder how come he showed him to me. "A smoking sardarji"
Although not being born into it, but only legally connected through marriage with the religion, dont know why it hurts me when i see a cut sardi or a smoking sardi like I saw today.
Just could not help him reminding that it is Gurpurab today. Happy Gurpurab.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Branding
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| Olympic Park (Photo credit: beefy_n1) |
Never before have I observed anyone with such consistent a branding. Yes, she is a model and an actress as well. And the branding that I am talking about is not for a product, but for the Olympics. What!!! must have been your reaction. Yes, indeed. It will be, but if you come to think of the events that lead me to think that way, she is indeed a brand ambassador for Olympics in her own way, as in Olympics jokes.
I can date back to the 2004 Olympics when Coca Cola was one of the sponsors of the event then. Every news channel repeatedly telecasted our Bengali beauty's very confident lines: "Adolf Hitler started the Olympics, but which year I am not sure of". I am sure even Hitler must have found it funny.
But wait for next 4 years for the another set of Olympic related joke from the beauty again.
This time it was a bonanza offer. A free joke with a joke.
First one : "I wish to date the gold medalist Abhinav Bindra"
As if this wasn't so poor on the gold medalist's part, Vijendra was also under the radar, but with a condition.
"He would be kissed if he wins a gold"
OMG, is it true that all beauties are brainless.
Don't know whenever I think of Olympics, I only think of Bipasha and her jokes.
So miserable I feel for her.
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