I am applauded and to a certain good extent respected by my friends for
being that Miss/Mrs. Know-it-all at all the times and at varied subjects
ranging from anything to just simply anything.
But there came a time in the day of my life, when I was subjected to great embarrassment and sadness because of my outright ignorance on an issue.
The story goes back to the time when I re-met a friend in Mumbai who originally hails from Nagaland.
We both met together for the first time at the Kolkata airport, that story I will discuss some other day in some other post. But in this one I am discussing the time when I almost lost him as a good friend from my life.
So, as I mentioned, I met him again when I visited Mumbai. That was after 6 months of our first rendezvous at the Dum Dum airport.
I am not going to mention his name here, but I can do mention that he is a graduate from the prestigious Tata Institute of Social Sciences. Those days he was doing his internship and he had promised me to take me to his institute. He fulfilled his promise after finishing his movie filming. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, he is a media graduate from the institute and if I recall correctly, at that time he was working on a documentary on the Mumbai blasts that occurred in the year 1993-94.
So, it turned out to be an eventful day, we both traveled from Andheri to Deonar by changing train routes and laughing and having fun all the time. It was also fun because we both together looked really odd. Well, I am just 5’3” in height and he is 6’1”. I am a normal Indian looking girl and he a proper North Eastern looking one….or popularly and ignorantly known as chinki.
Well, that is the real part of the story that turned out to be the game changer.
Before meeting him I had never known that calling people with Mongolian features as Chinks or Chinkis is actually a crime.
And with that ignorance of mine I kept spending my time with that North Eastern friend of mine. He took me to his institute, showed me all the departments there, introduced me to his friends, and even treated me to a wonderful dinner at his institute canteen. I indeed had a wonderful day spending time with him all that while, but I had no idea that my good memories spent with him will be short lived.
After the dinner he came to drop me till the harbour line of Mumbai station. I considered that gesture of him really sweet because he really took the pain to travel so far changing trains from central to harbour, which was in fact not required at all, considering that I am quite comfortable with the daily travel by locals in Mumbai.
I think when we reached the Reay road station, he told me that he really enjoyed spending time with me the whole day; but after this he would not be able to remain friends with me.
That particular moment just stunned me; I kept wondering what went wrong. Knowing his fun and playful nature, for a brief moment I did feel that he was just playing a prank; but I was sure when after saying those words he got off from the train and left me.
Since then all my way back I kept crying and wondering what went wrong between both of us; what on earth had I said or not said that hurt him and made him decide to not be friends with me.
So, after reaching home I called him, and he obviously did not respond, but I kept trying and trying till I got to know from him the reason for his being crossed with me.
The reason was the big word CHINKI. All through my interaction with him I kept repeating the phrase: “wow, I never thought that one day I will be such good friends with a Chinki.”
Back then at that day, moment and time I was not aware that the word is derogatory, it is an ethnic slur and since it stereotypes people on the basis of their physical features, it is considered inhuman and insensitive.
I was really surprised, as to how can he be bugged with for so small a reason, but when I found out about it, I was myself taken aback and felt so embarrassed and hurt on my own ignorance.
After knowing the reason for the misunderstanding between me and him, I knew I had to make-up to him. So, I chalked out a plan.
Well, I knew that in a day or two he was leaving for Hyderabad on some religious trip; so I called up his friends, also “chinks” with whom I became friends at the TISS campus; and then I got to know about his train timings from them. Then, on that day I just rushed to the station and surprised him by appearing just at the moment when he also arrived to catch his train.
I duly apologized to him and was forthright about my ignorance. But what was more surprising for me was when he told me that he was surprised of my ignorance. Considering me a well traveled person, he expected me to know that. And he felt hurt to know that even after knowing everything I was trying to degrade him.
But he forgave me as soon as he learned that it was just a play of misunderstanding that caused a rift between us. He is indeed a nice guy and he told me to update others as well about my new found learning.
And that is the reason I have writing this post. To make many aware if the ethnic slurs that we many a time knowingly or unknowingly tend to use.
So today, we both are still good friends and hope to meet some day soon.
I know, still many of us would take pride and fun in calling someone with Mongolian features a CHINK; but to tell you the legal facts - calling some one with Mongolian features a CHINK could lead to an imprisonment of 5 years as per the Supreme court ruling.
Probably that could be reason No. 1 for some people to change. I just hope so.
But there came a time in the day of my life, when I was subjected to great embarrassment and sadness because of my outright ignorance on an issue.
The story goes back to the time when I re-met a friend in Mumbai who originally hails from Nagaland.
We both met together for the first time at the Kolkata airport, that story I will discuss some other day in some other post. But in this one I am discussing the time when I almost lost him as a good friend from my life.
So, as I mentioned, I met him again when I visited Mumbai. That was after 6 months of our first rendezvous at the Dum Dum airport.
I am not going to mention his name here, but I can do mention that he is a graduate from the prestigious Tata Institute of Social Sciences. Those days he was doing his internship and he had promised me to take me to his institute. He fulfilled his promise after finishing his movie filming. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, he is a media graduate from the institute and if I recall correctly, at that time he was working on a documentary on the Mumbai blasts that occurred in the year 1993-94.
So, it turned out to be an eventful day, we both traveled from Andheri to Deonar by changing train routes and laughing and having fun all the time. It was also fun because we both together looked really odd. Well, I am just 5’3” in height and he is 6’1”. I am a normal Indian looking girl and he a proper North Eastern looking one….or popularly and ignorantly known as chinki.
Well, that is the real part of the story that turned out to be the game changer.
Before meeting him I had never known that calling people with Mongolian features as Chinks or Chinkis is actually a crime.
And with that ignorance of mine I kept spending my time with that North Eastern friend of mine. He took me to his institute, showed me all the departments there, introduced me to his friends, and even treated me to a wonderful dinner at his institute canteen. I indeed had a wonderful day spending time with him all that while, but I had no idea that my good memories spent with him will be short lived.
After the dinner he came to drop me till the harbour line of Mumbai station. I considered that gesture of him really sweet because he really took the pain to travel so far changing trains from central to harbour, which was in fact not required at all, considering that I am quite comfortable with the daily travel by locals in Mumbai.
I think when we reached the Reay road station, he told me that he really enjoyed spending time with me the whole day; but after this he would not be able to remain friends with me.
That particular moment just stunned me; I kept wondering what went wrong. Knowing his fun and playful nature, for a brief moment I did feel that he was just playing a prank; but I was sure when after saying those words he got off from the train and left me.
Since then all my way back I kept crying and wondering what went wrong between both of us; what on earth had I said or not said that hurt him and made him decide to not be friends with me.
So, after reaching home I called him, and he obviously did not respond, but I kept trying and trying till I got to know from him the reason for his being crossed with me.
The reason was the big word CHINKI. All through my interaction with him I kept repeating the phrase: “wow, I never thought that one day I will be such good friends with a Chinki.”
Back then at that day, moment and time I was not aware that the word is derogatory, it is an ethnic slur and since it stereotypes people on the basis of their physical features, it is considered inhuman and insensitive.
I was really surprised, as to how can he be bugged with for so small a reason, but when I found out about it, I was myself taken aback and felt so embarrassed and hurt on my own ignorance.
After knowing the reason for the misunderstanding between me and him, I knew I had to make-up to him. So, I chalked out a plan.
Well, I knew that in a day or two he was leaving for Hyderabad on some religious trip; so I called up his friends, also “chinks” with whom I became friends at the TISS campus; and then I got to know about his train timings from them. Then, on that day I just rushed to the station and surprised him by appearing just at the moment when he also arrived to catch his train.
I duly apologized to him and was forthright about my ignorance. But what was more surprising for me was when he told me that he was surprised of my ignorance. Considering me a well traveled person, he expected me to know that. And he felt hurt to know that even after knowing everything I was trying to degrade him.
But he forgave me as soon as he learned that it was just a play of misunderstanding that caused a rift between us. He is indeed a nice guy and he told me to update others as well about my new found learning.
And that is the reason I have writing this post. To make many aware if the ethnic slurs that we many a time knowingly or unknowingly tend to use.
So today, we both are still good friends and hope to meet some day soon.
I know, still many of us would take pride and fun in calling someone with Mongolian features a CHINK; but to tell you the legal facts - calling some one with Mongolian features a CHINK could lead to an imprisonment of 5 years as per the Supreme court ruling.
Probably that could be reason No. 1 for some people to change. I just hope so.
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