Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Something you always think "What if..." about

Since last 3 years, I have one incident that I always think "What if...." about.

It is my father's death.

Innumerable times I have thought about it. What if that day I had called him. What if I had called him a day before that. What if I had called him days before that What if I had called him the same day I decided to not call him ever. What if I had called him the same day I had spoken to him last.

What if he and I had a cordial relation all these years. What if I had not reacted to his actions 3 months before he died.

What if I had reacted to his actions a long before. It could have been that then he would have been alive today.

What if he was not cold and estranged to me during my childhood. What if I had not chosen to vent out my sadness and frustrations to him 3 months before his death. I wish I had done it years ago. May be then he would have accepted it. May be I should have never reacted to his behaviour. May be he would have been alive today had I never been sensitive to his harsh behaviour.

What if he was and is actually alive today. May be I would not have cared to be with him. May be I would have avoided him like I started doing since the day I got independent.

Now what if I get to to post the same stuff for my mother and sister too...?

P.S : This post is inspired by a pinner, who has deleted content on their blog now.